Run!

If you have spent anytime reading me (if anyone made the move with me that is) you probably know by now that I have a bit of an addictive personality. Cupcakes. Zumba and now running! How long will this last? Hopefully for awhile. I absolutely enjoy running and the headspace that hour gives me, it has totally been invaluable.

My love of running actually dates back to my dark ages, circa 7th and 8th grade. I was short, skinny and awkward, but I could run! It was something that made me feel good about myself, I wasn’t super fast but I made the track team both years

I quit running in high school just because I moved and was intimidated by the bigger school, more organized athletic department. In my 20’s I lived a far too nocturnal rock & roll lifestyle that was absolutely NOT conducive to running. After that life happened.

Fast forward to Memorial Day weekend 2011, I began the couch to 5k program. Suddenly, I remembered why I loved running way back in the day. Despite a week long set back, thank you lovely summer cold, I went through couch to 5k without batting an eye. That’s not to say that I did not freak out when I reached my first long run, but I did it.

Now, I am at the beginning of week 3 in the Bridge to 10k program and by the end of this week I should be running 5 miles which is mind boggling to me.

I have a fun run scheduled in October, a 5k in December and a plan in place to run the Princess Half at Disney World in 2013.

While I’m not sure I’d call myself a runner yet, I am most certainly enjoying my new, albeit healthier, addiction!

Summertime and the living is busy

No excuses, I’ve been a slacker.  I have had so many things come up that I have wanted to share and I just haven’t done it.  By the time I think about it, it’s well after the fact. 

So I figured I would do a brief catch up on family happenings. 

The biggest being a new milestone has been reached.  The munch lost his first tooth.  I might have cried a little.  Hard to believe my mighty munch is big enough to be losing teeth.  There is nothing like that big gap toothed smile.  Thanks to an idea planted in my head by the book Silverlicious, he has his own tooth fairy.  Appropriate for his interests, his tooth fairy’s name is Super Toother.  Thanks to Super Toother’s generosity, he got a big $5.00 for his first tooth. 

 

We have instituted Monday Funday’s with a friend and her daughter, mostly time at the splash pad and keeping cool.  With over two weeks now over 100 degree temps, cool is best. 

On the personal front, I lost my last grandparent. A large part of the Monkey’s name came from this wonderful lady.  Even in my flakier days she was always my supporter, always encouraged me and always loved me.  I miss her greatly, but I know that she is in a better place now. 

I have also gotten addicted to running.  Ok, so maybe I do have an addictive personality, but this one is a good addiction.  I think.  Running has been the only thing I have found so far that has the ability to take me out of my head for a good half hour.  It’s my little bit of heaven.  My head is not my friend most times, so an escape is always welcome.    This may even trump Zumba.  I have one week left on Couch to 5k, I have one definite 5k coming up, and another one this month should I decide to brave the Oklahoma heat.  Additionally, two of my friends and I are discussing training for the Princess Half-Marathon in 2013.  Can’t do it next year due to SIL’s wedding. 

Finally, the most exciting thing.  Our goofy little family is going to meet well, Goofy (and Mickey, and Minnie, etc).  We are going to Disney World for the first time as a family.  It will be a surprise for Lewie and Evie, but we are all booked and ready to go.  Now just waiting for October.  More Disney details as they come up.

I hope everyone is enjoying their summer as much as we are. 

 

 

Father’s Day

This is what happens when I try to get a cute picture of the hockey nerd with the munch and monkey on Father’s Day.

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Tale of the Tape

Last year I talked about the “Me Project”.  I was trying to make time to do things to make myself healthy and have some fun.  I mentioned Couch to 5k and Zumba.  Zumba I started and absolutely fell in love with and Couch to 5k fell by the wayside.  Weather in Oklahoma is unpredictable, and honestly I probably am not dedicated enough to run outside at 100 plus degrees. 

I joined a gym in April and just recently decided that I would try couch to 5k on the treadmill.  So here I am staring down c25k week 3 day 1.  Slightly intimidated by the thought of jogging 3 minutes straight but I can do it.  Oddly enough I remembered that I once loved running, a former mediocre track member back in my junior high days.  It’s the one time I have found I can get out of my head and just not think about anything except the song that’s on my iPod.  Which is another odd thing, most of my friends run to atmospheric, poppy stuff.  Me?  Not so much.  Give me aggression and I’m good.  My play list staples are Metallica, Papa Roach, early Motley Crue, well you get the idea.  Some how it motivates me.  Guess that’s all that matters. 

I’m also trying to curb my bad eating habits, for example on weekends I tend to keep myself so busy that I have one meal and lots and lots of snacks.  Thanks to My Fitness Pal, I have realized most days I have not had enough calories to do me any good in the weight loss department.  To that end I have just started the Herbalife shakes, so far I can so I love them.  My two favorites have been cafe latte and cookies and cream.  I am getting calories and protein and it’s keeping me full so I don’t snack. 

So between Zumba, C25k, and Herbalife I’m hoping to get myself back to my happy shape. I have realized that a lot of it is my issue and that the way I see me is probably not the way that others see me.  It’s not so much how much I weigh but how I feel about me and how my clothes fit me.  I’ve lost waist inches, but my hips are going nowhere.  Makes for interesting pants sizing.  I’m tracking inches now rather than going by the scale and maybe that will make for a happier me. Happier me makes for a happier everyone else. 🙂   

 

 

 

Three Years

Tomorrow will be my big three-year anniversary of my Papillary Carcinoma/Thyroid Cancer diagnosis. It’s amazing how quickly and slowly it’s gone at the same time. This was the beginning of a rough two years from me, but it wasn’t the end of me. Tuns out that it was a new start.

Three years ago I was scared, I didn’t realize what I was capable of handling. Now, I have a fairly good idea.

Three years ago, I was horrified by the scar that I now had to live with. I was afraid my life would be defined by the scar, terrified that people would only see the scar and not me. Now, I define my scar. While it’s not as readily visible as it was, I still see it every day. I once had our favorite photographer edit out my scar, now that picture seems weird because it’s not there. Munch and Monkey don’t even realize that there was a me without the scar. The scar now is a badge I wear proudly, it is the mark of a survivor.

Three years ago I became a survivor whether I knew it or not.

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Casanova

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And so it begins…I found this note in munch’s backpack this morning. When I asked him about it he said the big brother of one of his classmates gave it to him.

I asked the munch what he thought prom meant and he said that she wanted to come over and play games and maybe watch tv.

The boy is five and a half and he is already getting prom invites.

Skewed

There is a battle that’s been going on with me recently.  It’s one I haven’t really talked about, but it’s been on my mind and won’t leave me alone.  Self image.  I look at myself and see someone, something I’m not happy with.  I’m 25 pounds heavier than I am at my happy weight.  I need a hair cut.  I have rolls and hips that have never gone away post childbirth.  My prescription changed and I’m currently wearing glasses and not my contacts.  I have broken out skin and grey hair, super awesome.   I don’t like any of it. 

I could rationalize it and blame it all on poor Harvey.  The poor thyroid that is no more.  Though the lack of thyroid certainly presents an issue metabolism wise.  I could blame my love of cupcakes.  I could blame the fact that hockey nerd and I don’t eat until 9p most nights.  All of which are true.

In fairness, I should also add that when I was at my happy weight, my friends called me toothpick girl.  So I probably don’t need to get back that low.

So maybe, just maybe I don’t see myself the way that everyone else does.  I wonder if it’s a female thing.  When I was super skinny I wanted boobs.  Now that I have them I don’t want them.  Is it a case of never being satisfied, or wanting what I can’t have?  It also makes me wonder if I’m still this shaky in my self view well past my teenage years, will I always be this way? 

Since I’ve been going great gonzo at Zumba again and branching out and trying power bar.  Rolls are firming up, the pooch is going away.  I’m getting confident in myself and the newer shape.  I have curves, which are sort of fun, even with long chicken legs.  People are telling me that I look healthy, that I look good.  I might actually start being happy in the new shape,  I might actually get comfortable in my skin again, or comfortable in my skin for the first time.  Should I believe what the mirror tells me, or should I believe what friends, family and most importantly hockey nerd and the munch and monkey tell me?  I think I know the answer, I just need to learn to block out the mirror, or my view will continue to be hopelessly skewed.

The Force is strong

The force is strong in this one. A new play costume has entered our galaxy. Please allow me to introduce you to Darth Munch!

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Making Friends

There is a unique girl toddler phenomenon with bathrooms.  Maybe it’s not limited to girl’s, but seems like Monkey is far more fascinated than the Munch.  If we go anywhere, and I do mean anywhere she suddenly has to go potty.  She could have gone just five minutes before and all of a sudden it’s an all-consuming desire. 

I can’t blame her, I vaguely remember being oddly fascinated by bathrooms too.  I already know that apple didn’t far too far from this particular tree. 

On a trip to a particular home and garden store this weekend, the bathroom fixation was in full swing.  We leave the boys behind looking at who knows what and venture to the special room of the store.  We get there and it was empty.  This mama gets overjoyed at empty bathrooms, just in case weird melt down ensues.  Monkey has to wash her hands first, this is new.  Then she has to open every stall door until she finds the perfect potty.  Who knew there was such a thing?  There is a special squeal saved for the “monkey sized” ones. Meaning no Mommy help needed, heaven forbid Miss Independent needs help. 

While she is getting situated in her stall, another woman walks in and goes about her business. 

The quiet of the bathroom was soon interrupted by the sweet voice of my monkey “Oh, Mommy…Are you going potty too?” 

silence…do I answer?  Do I say no?  Finally, “No, Evangeline, there is someone else in here with us now.”

more silence.

Then suddenly, “hi, I’m pottying, are you going potty too?”

Only my daughter would think of conversing with a complete stranger at probably one of the most awkward places ever.  Fortunately, the poor woman had a good sense of humor and she did talk to the monkey and she was laughing about it with us.  I love that she is friendly, but I think I need to work on where she decides to engage in conversations for the future.

Harvey Update – Early 2011 edition

You know the saying no news is good news?  I guess it’s true in this case.  I had my typical six month endocrinologist appointment.  I can say now that I do love my doctor even if I haven’t always agreed with her. 

In case you were wondering this is what my six month follow-up consists of. 

Are you hot?  Are you tired?  energy Level good?  Appetite?  Any problems swallowing? 

Then I get to swallow a drink of water while she feels around the area that Harvey used to reside.  And a second time.  Next up I get to lay down (only after she takes the pillow away just to make it a little more fun) and she feels around again. 

Instead of getting the paper work to do my labs, she tells me that it’s about time to look at doing the Thyrogen scan.  As a reminder that was just the little three-day glow in the dark experience.  A shot of  Thyrogen on Monday and Tuesday, and then Radioactive Iodine (the lowest dose – the one that I can still function on even if I do have to quarantine myself( on Wednesday and then the scan on Friday.  That little slice of heaven is if my thyroglobulin levels come back good.  The alternative to that would be a CAT scan, and while more appealing in terms of time, it’s not the route I would want to go since that would mean bad news.  Who would guess I’d be rooting for radioactivity.  Say that three times fast. 

After my short visit I head down to the lab for six vials of blood.  I got the fun phlebotomist, makes it not so bad.  An hour later I am on my way home. 

True to form six days later, I get my letter in the mail.  My thyroglobulin level is barely detectable, but my synthroid dosage has to change. This I knew was coming as I was shedding like I have never shed in my life.  It made postpartum hair loss seem minimal.  I go to call my Dr. B’s office to schedule the Thyrogen scan and leave a message.  About an hour later the nurse calls back and tells me that since my thyroglobulin levels were barely traceable Dr. B doesn’t feel like we need to do the scan after all.   I asked again just to make sure I heard that right, and I did.  I just need to make my six month follow-up appointment. 

So it might just be after almost three years, that Harvey, my (not so) invisible thyroid might actually be turning invisible on me for good.  See ya,  Harvey, wish I could say it’s been fun and please take your buddy Papillary Carcinoma with you.

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